3.05.2009

Twitter goes Corporate

The following post was a gift received simply by working in a corporate environment (that's right, thanks to cut and paste, most of this entry was authored by other people). Please note: The responses are in chronological order and last names have been removed to protect the guilty. I also kept the spelling errors, typos and poor punctuation to preserve the integrity of the messages.

Here is part of the original message sent out:

Please find the new Bag Stuffing Schedule at the end of the email. Please note closeout dates. If you wish to participate in stuffing bags for our troops at Fort Belvoir, please responid to (email address)


If you want to do something nice for the troops, come stuff some bags at Ft. Belvoir. Harmless enough right? Support the troops or ignore the email message--simple enough.

Riiiiiiiiight.

First, confusion sets in--

"This email was sent to me in error."

"Please stop replying to all."


It's not long before a new character emerges—
Ladies and gentlemennnnn...introducing... “The detective in training”:

"This email was sent to me in error, too. Who developed the distribution listing?" (Dun-dun-dunnnnn)

Which was followed by more pleas:

"This email was sent to me in error."

"Please do not reply to everyone on this list. Reply to Rita T. Only"

"Everyone - please stop replying to all. Reply only to Ann F." (note, original email was from Ann, but email address was for someone else)

"Please stop with this email."


This email was sent to me in error.

Soon enough, more and more characters emerge--, including the one who thinks, “I’m not alone after all!”:

"Me too! This email was sent to me in error."


More of the same:

Please remove me from this list. I work in Lanham MD

Please do not respond to all, just respond to Ann. This is filling up all of our emails.


Eventually even more characters emerge…

The Advisor:
For everyone that got the message in error....DELETE IT

Mistaken identity case #1:
ALSO - This group may have the wrong bwright. Please remove me from your email distribution.

Followed by more pleas:

Please remove me too. Thanks.

Please stop send this mail to everyone.

Stop emailing everyone please.


Mistaken identity case #2:
Please take me off your list. I think you want Elaine J. K.

Mistaken identity case #3:
I think your group my have the wrong Terry M. on your distribution list.

The Culprit speaks:
I sincerely apologize for replying all..

This is about doing something good and volunteering, no need to say you have the wrong person, etc. This was sent out to as many NPS folks as possible that's it. No mystery distribution list.. best thing is to reply to Ann only if you are offended by the email.


The Opportunist:
As long as everyone is getting this message, we have just lost a contract in the Baltimore area and need to place alot of talented people. Do any of you have need for COBOL, DB2, and/or Java programmers? How about technical folks with strong analytical/design skills?

The Culprit’s Accomplice concurs:
I am so with you... apologizing for replying all but this is ridiculous with people saying take me off. It was just a notification about an event that is taking place.

The one who didn’t read the previous messages:
Please stop the emails on this to me!

The Enforcer:
SERIOUSLY EVERYBODY - - - - - - - STOP "REPLY ALL" FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL! PLEASE DO NOT HIT "REPLY ALL" BUTTON AFTER YOU RECEIVE THIS EMAIL. THANK YOU!!!!!!

It only took a few hours for smart assery to set in--

The Jokester:
Please leave me on your list, I'm getting some great phone numbers...

The Smart Ass:
Please remove me from your list, I think that you meant to have Felix "Amazing" L. and not Felix "Awesome" L.

The Dry humorist:
Attention Training Dept:
Please create/add training class Title : Corporate e-mailing etiquettes
Make it manadatory for all on this email distribution. It may save valuable corporate resources.


The Zinger:
Thank you for your leadership in this matter. This is a fine program to volunteer for and if I go down and spend 1 hour, it will be less time than used dealing with these emails.
-See you there


Then, disbelief--

The Counter:
This is ridiculous... I've piled up about 40 emails from this message.

The Problem Solver:
How about we stop sending emails to everyone saying stop replying to all because that just fills up everyones inboxes too.

The Impatient one:
ENOUGH ALREADY !!!

The Texter:
OMG, I couldn't agee more!

The Questioner who needs no question marks:
Why am I getting so many emails.

The Lecturer:
For the life of me I don't understand why you guys find it necessary to use the Reply All feature. Please keep this matter amongst yourselves. Those who are not interested should not have to be included in this email chain.

The Person of few words:
Ditto

The Polite one:
Please kindly remove me from this listserve.

The Educator:
I like to take the opportunity when these kind of emails come out to remind everyone of a very useful feature of email. If you are sending out an informational message to a large group and you don't responses to go to everyone else, put the distribution on the bcc: line (like I just did). That way no one can even see who the email was sent to and replying to all will only go back to the sender and anyone on the To: or cc: lines.

The Redundant one:
Please remove my name from the list

The one who gets right to the point:
STOP

The Encourager:
You all are making my day! FUNNY

Finally, desperation--

The one who thinks an abundance of explanation points will do the trick:
Please remove my name from the list !!!!!

The one on the brink:
stop stop stop stop

The Sarcastic one:
Please. I have better things to do than deleting emails.

The Righteous one:
Ladies and gentlemen, continuing the semi-humorous free-for-all is interfering with our ability to get work done and constitutes misuse of corporate resources per our agreement. Perhaps we might agree to knock it off before someone decides that disciplinary action is appropriate.

The Rebel:
NO!!!!!

The one who just dated himself:
STOP......................Hammertime!

The Critic:
all of you who are replying stop......that is just as annoying.

The Disdainful one:
The only thing sadder than the original email is the people actually replying BACK TO ALL!

The one who thinks, “If every other attempt didn’t do it, surely my words will”:
Re: STOP USING THE REPLY TO ALL BUTTON!!!!! THIS IS CRAZY!!!!

The Asylum patient:
Please no more. Get me out of this address book!!!!

1 comment:

The Butterfly BAP said...

Giselle, I don't believe you!!!!!

This is hilarious!