Itsy Bitsy Spider

How many times have you heard someone say “I have a bump on my arm. I think it might be a spider bite.”

Oh, I’ve heard it lots of times…bunches of times. And every time I heard someone claiming a spider bit them in their sleep, I laughed to myself a little. Why do I laugh, you ask? Because I have a hard time picturing a spider crawling through someone’s bed for a midnight snack, that’s why. You never hear about spiders biting people in the daytime, when we can see it happen. More questionable than anything else is that the creature being blamed for a blemish incurred in the night is always, unfailingly, a spider. Why not an ant? Or a bee? Or a mosquito? Or, hey, I know…bed bugs! I hear those things are making a comeback. Why doesn’t anyone blame a bug known for inflicting red bumps upon humans? Why are we blaming the spiders?

Spiders get a bad rap. They rid houses of pests and generally don’t mean us any harm. “Charlotte’s Web” and “Spider-man” didn’t give enough good P.R. to counter movies like “Arachnophobia” and “Eight Legged Freaks.” Even the Lullaby video depicts a nighttime spider assault. Despite all of the negativity, I didn’t buy the hype that spiders are bad—if I see one wandering aimlessly in the tub, I’ll move it to higher ground. If it looks like it’s lost, I’ll usher it outside. I am at peace with spiders in my midst because I didn’t believe they would turn on me while I slept.

Recently, while starring in the role of "houseguest" , I stayed in the guest bed. One morning, as I awoke, I felt the strangest thing on my face. Something little tickled my skin, almost the sensation of a stray hair that had fallen on my face. Well, I reached for the hair and found it escaping my grasp. Everywhere I grabbed, whatever it was remained two steps ahead.

Nooo, I thought, this can’t be happening, as I swiped and slapped at my skin. Then from the corner of my eye, I saw it: a wispy little spider dancing away from my hand. I could even hear the faintest sound of laughter come from its little tiny mouth-parts. The spider had come for me at last. All of those people weren’t crazy after all. When the crawly sensations disappeared, I settled back into bed, but I didn’t dare sleep. I might wake up with a bump on my arm, or worse, family of spiders tucked away in my ear.

What, you don't believe me?

It could happen.