Opportunity knocks

A few weeks ago, I received this:

We are unique Executive Search firm that was established in 1977 and is owned and operated by Service Academy Graduates. One of our Chemical / Mining clients is looking for a JMO(Junior Military Officer) or former JMO Woman to be their Human Resource Manager in a small Wyoming town (pop. 11,000). No experience is required. They will train. Must be STRONG LEADER with excellent OERs (Officer Evaluation Report, AKA a report card, annual review, and so on). This is a non-union company. Base pay range to $110K.

Our client is phone interviewing candidates next week and we are looking for candidates.

Please feel free to forward this email to anyone you know that may have an interest.

My initial thought was, “Hey, if I were single, I would totally (totes?) consider it.” Could you imagine? $110K in Wyoming? Sweeping plains and big sky (Okay, I know that’s Montana, but close enough). Cowboy boots and a simple life! Mountain views and a farm house planted on acres of land! Pioneer living with modern conveniences! Adventure!

I know, I know, I’m an idiot.

Let’s read that message again, shallll we?

We are unique Executive Search firm that was established in 1977 and is owned and operated by Service Academy Graduates. One of our Chemical / Mining clients is looking for a JMO or former JMO Woman …

(Why a woman? Either a quota is at play or there are issues with female employees? It’s suspect)

…to be their Human Resource Manager in a small Wyoming town (pop. 11,000)

(Yay, no people, but I’m guessing there is probably no Target as well).

No experience is required. They will train.

(Also suspect. They really couldn’t find anyone already trained and qualified in this area? Or is this the field of Dreams, “If you train them, they will come” philosophy?)

Must be STRONG LEADER …

Translation: We need someone who gets shit done...

…with excellent OERs.

Translation: ...who won't piss off her superiors while getting that shit done.

This is a non-union company

Translation: Fend for yourselves, bitches. Don’t cry for me Argentina Wyoming when the hours are ridiculous.

Base pay range to $110K

Translation: We will pay you an assload of money because if you haven’t figured it out by now, this job is a giant pain in the ass. CHA-CHING!

Our client is phone interviewing candidates next week and we are looking for candidates.

Translation: We can not fill this job, and believe you me, we’ve been trying.

Please feel free to forward this email to anyone you know that may have an interest.

Translation: Pass this on to any and everyone in your contact list.

Maybe I just need a vacation.