E for entitled

So the other day I took metro to work. I did this for years and most of the time it was fine. I decided to take one of the seats designated for handicapped people and seniors. While I am neither of those, I figured I was safe since I am obviously pregnant. Besides, there were seven other seats occupied by people who, from what I could tell, were not pregnant or in dire need of the seats.

You know where this is going, right? If you know anything about my kind of luck, you know where this is going.

So after a few stops, a woman gets on. I saw her for years and years on the train. I knew from her badge that she worked at the Pentagon. Who knows, maybe she knew me too (I’m inclined to say, probably not). So the train is packed and she’s standing. Then I hear a man beside her say, “Say ‘Excuse me.’” So she goes, “Excuse me,” and points to the handicapped sign over my head. I pull out my earbud.

“These seats are designated…”

This is being said with the lemon yellow SmarTrip card being brandished. She was literally pulling the senior card on me. I’ve seen her whip out the almighty card on someone else before and now it was my turn.

So I stood up (I should have placed a hand on the small of my back and struggled to rise for emphasis) and said “I sat here because I’m pregnant. I usually don’t take these seats.” I sat back down (imagining The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” theme playing in the background).

She says, “Oh, I see.” And instead of turning to one of the other seven candidates, she stands there like she’s going to patiently wait for the next 3 ½ months to pass until I have the baby and she can rightfully claim her seat.

Most people wouldn’t give this a second thought. All I could wonder was why I had been singled out. I wore my gray hoodie over my work clothes because the one fleece jacket that still fits just makes me look fat, and when you're pregnant and feeling fat it helps you feel better to wear clothes that help make the distinction, so I went with the hoodie. But the hoodie doesn't exactly say "Off to work", either. So did she come to me because I looked like schlubby and not on my way to a “real” job?

Or, in the words of my best friend, did she come at me to re-enact a Rosa Parks scene? I want to say probably not. I know there are people that would gladly go back to those days, but I hope the people I encounter are not like that. The thing is, you don’t know, and if you’re not white and this happens to you, you can’t help but wonder.

I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she just wanted that seat. She usually sits there, and here I was, taking “her” seat. Maybe it’s just a psychological thing. Or maybe she's just a classist/racist.

Run-in

I ran into a former coworker during my walk to pick up lunch on Friday. I was basically laid off resigned in October 2009. I got the quick rundown on how everything has changed (of the twelve people that were on my old team, I think three are left. And two of those are managers. MMm-kay.). Anyway, I told her my company name and she squinted--you know, the way people do when they have never heard of what you just said. I wanted so badly to be smart about it, but I left it alone.

But the thing is, the name of the company I work for is in big giant letters on the top of the building where she works. So either she needs to look up more often or companies paying all that extra to have their name on the building are wasting their money.

Books

Borders filed for bankruptcy. I have mixed feelings on this. I don't want to see a bookstore close and the Borders near me seems to do pretty good business. But they also insist on having the "Black book section." I haven't gotten into how much I hate this. No other group gets marginalized like this, but we're special. And while you're in that section, you will find anything from erotica, to "urban" lit to whatever else people think belongs there. If it's an Alice Walker or Toni Morrison work, I'm sure it will be placed with the "real" literature, but otherwise it will likely be placed with the AA books. To their credit, they did put a Tananarive Due book I read for a bookclub in the Horror section, but otherwise, this type of categorization makes no sense. I know some readers prefer to have that so they can find what appeals to them (if you are only reading books by one group...well...I'm glad you're reading, but you're missing out on a lot), but overall it's not doing black authors any good. So while it's sad that Borders is not doing so well, I would have more sympathy if they didn't insist on a separate but unequal section for "us." I am sorry that writers, especially midlist ones, will be negatively affected.

For the past six months I have been looking into what I need to do to get published. Writing the book doesn't even sound like the hardest part. You have to revise, get beta readers, incorporate feedback, write a query letter (which has to have a hook and enough pull in 300 words or less to make someone want to read more), have a "platform" get busy on Twitter and on the blog (ha) and so on. You have to build a following and then maybe, if someone is interested and the subject seems marketable, you get an agent. Then the agent must go around to publishers and pimp your story. Oh yeah, and then you still have to go on with your day job, because if you get a deal, it's unlikely that it will be enough for your to make a living.

I think what I have is marketable. There may be an issue with the era (early-mid 90's) but other than that, I think it can go somewhere. But this is not enough--I have to sell it to make someone else think it will go somewhere. The main character has my racial background and from what I have heard this is not a selling point. Sad. There is no major "struggle," no details on the history of slavery or the Civil Rights movement, sorry. There are annoyances that are race related that pop up here and there, but you get to know this character's personality first, and she never declares her race outright or constantly talks about it because people generally don't do this in real life. You figure it out by seeing the world from her eyes, and since I believe people are more alike than different, it's going to be a slight change in perspective, but the insecurities, the fears, and the triumphs of someone during their college years are there. I am not sure how to label it. For a liberal industry, there are some issues with white washing covers and being pigeonholed into writing your own race if you are not white. It's made me feel discouraged before I even send anything out.

There are some encouraging changes too, one which affected Borders-- e-book sales. There have been a few authors who are extremely successful going the non-traditional route. I usually laugh at people who self-publish, but some know what they're doing. If you price a book right and get the word out there through interviews and talking with readers, you can do pretty well. I'm going to consider this after the traditional route. Then there are some who self publish and then get picked up by a major publisher--it's not all gloom and doom, but the road seems to have a lot of detours.

Dear Target (AKA possibly the closest thing to an "announcement" as you will get)

When you are selling Maternity jeans, wouldn’t it be a good idea to use accurate sizing, instead of having things run SMALL? Like 2 sizes too small? Yes, I bought the jeans anyway, but only after taking home the original pair and discovering they were cut more like a size 2 than a 12. Making jeans that run small for women that are expanding on a daily basis = not smart. And if the panel was just an inch higher, I could be sporting what appear to be strapless jeans. Not cute atall.

Blog awakes from two month coma, news at 11

So, er, how 'bout them Packers? Uh, Valentine’s day? Happy new year? My resolution is to blog more.

*crickets*

(stop that laughing)

Purple Christmas

My husband surprised me with an early Christmas gift. A trip to...
...a place that has this:


and this...


and views like this:



But that's not all! On Saturday night, we got to see the only person who would perform on a stage that looked like this:



He's awesome! (Oh, and so was Prince.)

It could have been worse.

My husband and I carpool together. Well, one evening traffic was atrocious, so we took an alternate route. The issue is getting our daughter before the daycare closes. Once it closes it's a dollar a minute (CHA-CHING)! We took a back route that involved a ferry. It's a wee ferry, and old-timey and quaint when you're not racing the clock. I rustled up some cash. We zipped through town to the ferry dock and then...there was a line. A long line. A line that involved an hour of waiting for our turn on the ferry. At that point we had to wait it out.
So we waited.


And waited:


And then we were on:


We were so late. I even had a breakdown in the ferry line which required a counseling session from my husband. It was frustration for being helpless in that situation. In the end, we were 90 minutes late. That's $90, folks. CHA-CHING! And ouch. And sigh.

When I read this today, I knew the meaning of "And just when you think it couldn't get worse..."