Yeah, no

I know there have been a bunch of complaints regarding Facebook and its security issues. People are complaining that nothing is private and the Facebook is invasive. It's sort of obvious that it is, though isn't it? They are running a business. You can advertise better to your clientele if you raid their personal info a bit and customize the ads. I'm sorry I wasn't savvy or quick enough to come up with such a scam business.

I'm not ready to break up with it yet, but I've removed a lot of stuff that I like or am a fan of because it just felt like too much information for not much pay off. People that know me personally will probably know what I like.

The latest thing I've seen is "People who like ___ usually like ____." This is another version of "everybody's doing it" style of peer pressure. It used to be (product) and "4 friends like this," but I guess that wasn't an effective enough hook. If you were just friends on Facebook only with those people, then why would you be inclined to like what they like?
Let me illustrate my point:


This here suggestion was made on my page (I guess I got lazy and didn't "un" like Target). Fine. I *like* (insert thumbs up icon here) Target. But I am not a fan of Wal Mart, and I will not click the suggestive thumbs up icon to appease them. I will also say that most people that I know who like Target are quick to follow up and add that they HATE Wal Mart. I live across the street from a Big Box shopping mecca. Yeah, I know, nice view, but jeez has this catered to my lazy side. If I need something, I just cross the street, and la-ti-da. The down side is that Target is right there, just across the street, taunting me on pay day. Come onnnn, G, ya know you need some new flip flops! Come on over, we're having a sale on raspberry lemonade this week. Hey, don't you need something new for your work wardrobe? I got what you need, baby! The house is as close to Wal Mart as it is to Target. Guess when I step into Wal Mart? When a) Target is closed, b) Target is closed not open yet or c) Target does not have what I'm looking for and I'm desperate.

Life is too short for bad books

The last post probably made little sense, since I didn't include the link to the literary "agent"'s website to further illustrate my points. I appreciate when people do things and think they're trying to help. The friend has followed up with my husband to see if I called the guy. How do you say "Look, I don't feel comfortable with some proud (and I have a feeling it's to the point of being obnoxious about it) confederate representing me." Or, "I don't feel comfortable with a person who lists multiple advanced degrees with vague proof of said degrees turning around and not using spell check or knowing that "pundent" is not a word." "I don't feel comfortable working with someone who has photos of sushi on his home page?" (okay, that one's a stretch) The alternative is saying nothing, but there is this need for me to share how incredulous I am that someone pushed this guy as a serious agent. It just blows me away. I want to say "This is a joke, right? You didn't really mean this guy, did you? This guy? No, no, really?" (in my best Simon Cowell voice) "You caaaan't be serious."

So I'm petty but I had to share the link. I am the type of person who has to verify with the world that she is not the one on crazy pills.

I know the ills of the publishing industry. I understand why people self-publish. I don't like that anyone and everyone can pass something off as literature (or claim to be literary agents) when there is no filtering process involved. If it looks like a book and feels like a book, and you can find it on Amazon, that's good enough. The problem is that I'm not trying to publish a "good enough" book.

It's never that easy

I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I am working on a book. I feel like every other person is doing the same thing or they feel they have at least one good story waiting to be told, so I am not too vocal about it.

After years and years, I'm almost done. My husband has been gently shoving me towards the next move: finding an agent. This is the tricky part. Find someone who thinks your story is as good as you say it is. Find someone willing to slog through the pre-edited mess and see the potential, but in order to find that person, you have to advertise what you're selling with a teaser--a query letter. This will inevitably bring countless rejections, and I will inevitably have to tell myself exactly what I've been saying to myself throughout my job search: It only takes one. Then those interested will request a manuscript and those who like that enough to peddle it to the publishers will do the hustling on my behalf. This doesn't faze some people, but for some reason I find it very daunting.

In the back of my mind I hear that what I have isn't good, people won't pay to read it, the voices of the characters are totally off. I know I need to ignore that and press on. I've read so many so-called best selling books that aren't all that great, but they had a great marketing machine, and somehow people were convinced that these stories were better than they actually were. While I still want to write a good book, I know that I need effective marketing.

My husband talked to a friend who is also working on a book. A few years ago I connected with another writer who was writing a story on West Point. He emailed a bunch of graduates to get them to read what he already had and make corrections. I'm not lying when I tell you that it stunk. It was awful, and yet I admired the guy for trying and for believing that he had something worth publishing. I helped him with many things so I figured when he got somewhere, he would put in a good word for me. He claimed to know an author and then as soon as I asked for the guy's contact information, I got the back pedal. "Oh no, you don't want to talk to that guy." I wrote a scathing email message in response and promptly added him to my block list.

The most recent offer to connect was through a friend of my husband's, who apparently has his own book in the works. "He's going to send his agent's contact info," my husband said, which elicited a shrug from me. My instincts told me something was off.

Today I received a link to the agent's website. In my mind, I was thinking "Oh, it's probably some hack." I was hoping something would prove me wrong, but no, I was right, it really was some hack. In addition to being a veteran, the guy has a string of advanced degrees listed after his name, which might as well have been red flags. In addition to that, he's got information about himself, probably in an effort to seem "real, but when you write:

Remember - I don't take life too seriously, soooo don't expect this over-educated academic pundent to continously prove his literary skills, because I've been there and done that and I just won't anymore.

I mean is it considered arrogant to write "pundit" instead of that non-existent word listed? I'm also going to admit that the confederate pride and the wearing of a cap with a confederate flag on it didn't win points. I get it. Some people are proud of that, but is your professional website really the appropriate venue to show your rebel pride? If I wasn't turned off before (I was), this was the thing to push me over.

So this just confirms that I probably need to take the hard road, hustle and hope that someone out there believes what I have is good enough to sell.

And then--

After you find the song, you OD on listening to it.

"Who buys CD's?" (AKA iTunes doesn't have everything)

The title of this entry is a question posed by my husband. I understand what he's getting at (he also thinks books and DVDs that can be converted to something stores on a hard drive or streamed from a server, will eventually become obsolete)

My reasoning behind purchasing a CD is this: because iTunes doesn't have everything.

As much as I scoff at Hummers, I love the song used in this commercial. It really stuck with me to the point that I felt compelled to hunt it down to the ends of the earth. It turns out it's a song from some obscure scandinavian techno compilation. I could not find this song for anything. It turns out that it just required some patience. I did find the CD online but the website was foreign and the price was in Euros (possibly. I just know it wasn't a dollar sign). I considered illegal downloads, not because I'm cheap but because I could NOT find it anywhere. I would go to YouTube and play the commercial. I'd hum it to myself. My husband suggested I recreate it in Garage Band (and maybe if I didn't have a life that would be fun, but I don't have the time or patience)

Well, friends, today my CD arrived. Yes, Amazon came through and I'm one of those people still buying CDs. In fact, it's used but in "like new" condition. I had a high school history teacher whose 8 track collection was his pride and joy and I fully realize that I might be turning into that guy.

I played it on my laptop for my husband and said "Remember this?" He listened for a moment, admitted he liked the beat but did not remember the song. Ah! Don't you remember? I tried finding it forever! "iTunes?" he said. This is always the answer from him, and my response is always "iTunes does not have everything!"

This is the same guy who was haunted by this song and I'm happy to admit that I did a little sleuthing on late '90's Euro techno and I delivered, but to his credit it wasn't all that hard. I found it on iTunes.

Thoughts (deep and not)

I signed my offer letter and returned it yesterday. Oddly enough, I did this using the fax machine provided by the job search assistance people, which was a service paid for by my last company. I guess that's something. Of course now that I have an end to my free time, it feels like the walls are closing in. I don't hate working, especially if it means I am getting paid. I just hate starting at a new place, even if I know some of the people there. I hate new situations and feeling like I have to learn everything all over again. I've done it so many times you'd think being new would be old to me, but I just can't get used to it. I think once I am settled into my routine, it will be better.

Just before I accepted the offer, someone from another company spoke with me. He basically asked that I speak to him before I accept the offer. We had a great conversation over the phone. It turns out he works very closely with the people I will be working with. He laughed and said "Hm, I've never done an interview quite like this." He pretty much acknowledged that I would be accepting my offer. Could you imagine if I listened to the whole pitch and got an offer with this guy? I would be stepping into an office and sitting around the corner from the people I rejected. How bad would that be? He threw in "If things change and you're looking again, please consider us..." which is great. It's always a compliment when someone asks you to contact them if you need a job. It's a lifeline.

Yesterday I had to pick up some packages from the post office. Evidently, the postal person could not deliver them to the house. Never mind that I have been here for most of the day for the past month. I don't think the guy wanted to walk down to the house and ring the doorbell. i don't believe he even tried. I can't prove it, of course. So I went to get my packages from the post office. I had two messages from Amazon telling me to go, which meant there were two packages.

I walked up to the counter, and because I didn't have the slip, I just turned over my driver's license. The post-lady returned with one box and I said "Oh, I have two, actually." Why did she try to tell me this was the only one she saw (No, what happened was, she stopped when she found one box with my name because she didn't think there were more.) I said "Well, I got two messages..." (unsaid: and I'll be damned if I have to come back in a separate trip because you only found one)

"Give me that again," she said before disappearing to the back. What do you know, she found the other box. From her annoyed look, it appears she is well on her way to a lifelong career of postal disgruntled-ness.

I know that's a stereotype. I have found some happy postal people, but some are really miserable. It seems as if there is no in between. Either they are jovial or cranky. I don't get it.

In one of the boxes was a toy accordion for my daughter. She loves music and I want to expose her to some instruments. Even if she's not inclined to play anything, at least it's there and it can be fun. I know, it's a toy accordion and I'm probably going to regret buying that, but at least it's not a drum set. I tried my hand at it yesterday, and it seemed like fun.

So as my time comes to a close, I have all sorts of thoughts on ways to not be dependent on "the man" for pay. I could live off of the land in a yurt, farming what I need and being a vagabond in the colder months. It sounds sort of appealing, and some people have done this. Then one word comes to mind: Outhouse. Or, in my friend Mick's words, "Outhouse... If you're lucky, otherwise (four words): Hole-in-the-ground."

I like indoor plumbing. I like a lot of things that require some amount of money. I don't like roughing it. We had porta-potties at my work site in Korea (Army days) and there were many times I held it because I couldn't deal with the lack of flushing. How in the world would I do with a hole in the ground? So it's a trade off--I go to work and in return, I get toilets.

Favorite TV shows of the '80s and early '90s

I recently came up with a list of shows that I enjoyed while growing up. I can even remember the theme songs to most of them.
Mr. Roger's Neighborhood (corny, I know, but I loved it, especially Trolley and the world of Make Believe)
Sesame Street (Not the Elmo show racket that's going on now. Who doesn't remember this?)
Inspector Gadget
The Real Ghostbusters (I had a crush on Peter Venkman)
He-Man (I had a crush on He-Man)
She-Ra
Galaxy High (*ahem*, bought the DVD set of this one)
Mr. Belvedere (Mashed potatoes slopped into Bob Uecker's lap in the intro=comic gold)
Benson (who can't love a show where the wise-cracking butler makes it to lieutenant governor?)
The Muppet Show (a show that I loved, which also spurred what I call "M.A.M.M.A. phobia")
Diff'rent Strokes
Perfect Strangers
The Golden Girls
The Facts of Life
Gimme a Break (I sure deserve it!)
Webster (Yes, a total "diff'rent strokes" knock off with a height challenged black kid and adoptive white parents, but we still watched it)
Amazing Stories
Wonderworks specials on PBS (Very favorite episode is "All of summer in a day)
Double Dare
Moonlighting (The Taming of the Shrew episode was classic)
Dynasty (or, as my sister and I called it, "Die nasty)
The Cosby Show
A Different World
Friday Night Videos (we didn't have cable so this was our MTV)
What's Happening
Monty Python's Flying Circus
Quantum Leap
Murphy Brown
The Wonder Years (My favorite line is probably "In your sleep, pal." threat uttered by older brother Wayne.)
Doogie Howser, M.D. (Wasn't the computer journal he kept so high tech at the time? It was like a predecessor to blogging)
Family Ties (We wanted a pushover of a dad like Michael Keaton)
Growing Pains
MacGyver (Richard Dean Anderson+sandy blond mullet+ability to weasel out of impending doom=hot)

Some of these can be watched instantly on Netflix. I attempted a Quantum Leap episode, except I didn't make it past the opening theme song. Sometimes you watch these things and realize they were better in the era that they were first viewed. Some things just don't stand the test of time. If I watched many of these shows now, the list would be a whole lot shorter.