To the nines

I bought a pair of shoes while pregnant and I anticipated my post pregnancy shoes size while doing so. The shoes arrived and I tried them on, but they didn't fit. "Well, let's wait till I'm not pregnant and give it another go then." They still don't fit (sad horn). I had them in the donation pile when I realized my mom could wear them. They fit her. They look cute on her. So while I don't get them, at least I can visit with them. I'm not so worried about the new shoes though. It's the shoes I already know and love that pose a problem. Some of those shoes used to fit. And some of them were not cheap. They are in storage since we are getting the house ready to sell someday. I have this itch to go to the storage unit and find that box so I can try my favorites and be reassured that all is not lost.

I have a cute pair of flats that are still in the closet (not that there's anything wrong with that). I wore them to the first post baby date (Contagion, starring Matt Damon). They usually fit perfectly. This time they were slightly...tight. By the time we reached the theater they were uncomfortable. "I'm just not used to wearing closed shoes, that's all," I told myself. "I've spent the past 5 months in flip flops and my feet don't like being fenced in. They'll adjust." I even sort of said this to my husband for what? I don't know. Maybe some reassurance? It was one of those things where you add in a nervous laugh to show it's not really a big deal. Oh heh-heh, I may have to replace my entire shoe collection, but more shopping, right? Yay?

By the time we got home, I kicked off the shoes. The next day I looked up shoe stretching stuff on Amazon. There was a spray you could buy for leather shoes. One of the reviewers said you could mix alcohol and water and save yourself twelve bucks. I pulled out my husband's shoe trees and went to work a-sprayin' and a-stretchin. It helped. Some.

But there's a bunion. It's on the right foot. It's not big and obnoxious or hammer-time-y but it's there. People label problem areas on their body and my foot has its own problem area. The foot stuff started after my last pregnancy when I lived in flip flops. In the words of the podiatrist, "You're the youngest person I've seen with a heel spur." And on the bunion, she remarked, "Well, aging sucks."

So yesterday I bought a pair of shoes at T.J. Maxx. There were three in 8 1/2. I used to be a solid 8. After my first pregnancy, between 8 and 8 1/2. I'm assuming that now I am in the 8/1/2 to 9 range.

I went to the 9 aisle first. The 9 fit, but was a little loose. I went to the 8 1/2. The bunion was not happy. I went back and grabbed the 9. Then this morning, like a nerd, I looked up the shoe online and the reviewers said it was not true to size, which was slightly comforting. I don't know if I'm an 8 1/2 or a 9, though. I don't want to be in denial, shoving my feet into too small shoes because I can't accept the truth. My mom used to do this. Trying on too-tight shoes and saying "It's okay, they'll stretch." and I would say, "Why don't you just get shoes that fit?" Now I get it. When you are 5' 2 1/2 five foot three, size 9 is veering into boat territory. Just look at the display shoes in the store. Unless the small sizes are gone, that shoe will be a size 6, or 7 max. You know, the cute sizes, where the little details catch your eye instead of the length of the shoe. Then you look in the shoeboxes of the bigger sizes of that same style and ohhh. Not so cute.

It is all good if you're tall and the feet are in proportion but my feet are growing and I am not.

A Fool and her money

On a message board I visit, there was a post about Hunter boots. The boots in question are pictured above. She was asking if anyone had them, as she was considering a purchase. One of the people who has them and responded kindly (with a recommendation of where to buy them at a discount) pointed out elsewhere that this same person previously commented on the same boots with "Aren't those like $100?" (you could almost hear the hysteria while reading it). As in, "What kind of fool would spend $100 on some rubber boots?" It looks like pure hypocrisy as this person has now become the kind of fool that is willing to spend that much, but that's not how I took the alarmed response. I took it as, "I like those but I'm trying to justify why I would buy them." It's the agony of a cheap thrifty frugal person. I can relate to this.

There have been times where I have wanted a certain item but balked at the price. So what do you do when this happens? If the item never goes on sale or your size is sold out, you look for the cheaper less expensive alternative, usually made by another manufacturer. Sometimes it's a similar thing, but not a flat out knock off. Sometimes it's a blatant copy of something else (Sidenote: Skechers, you have no shame). Sometimes the copy is okay to get you by, but most of the time I wind up thinking, "It's close, but it's not what I really wanted." This means I wind up spending more because I go back for the real thing. When buying the faux version, I not only do I waste money, I also waste colossal amounts of time trying to decide what to do (buy the knock off? Get the knock off, decide I don't like it? Bite the bullet and buy the real thing...and so on. It would be a hell of a flow chart but illustrating that thought process would waste even more time. Let's just say I'm an all or nothing kind of girl (gal?) and probably better off buying the real deal if it's important. It's not like this with everything, though. I don't have a second thought over Heinz Ketchup vs. Noname Catsup. This agonizing only applies to big ticket items.

As for the boots above--I love them in that color. I might talk myself into getting them, however I am blessed with fat"healthy" calves and the wide calf versions don't come in cute colors, which means this fool will have to spend her $100 on something else.

Contradiction?

Is it wrong to purchase a milkshake blade and a book titled "Lose your Mummy tummy" in the same order?

(Don't answer that.)

Avon calling

So I went to Aldi's yesterday. While in line, a woman struck up a conversation. We joked about not getting a cart (you have to pay 25 cents for a cart and you get your quarter back when you return the cart...but anyway). I said carts tie you down. It is the truth. Plus you tend to buy more with a cart (though Target shopping has taught me how to weigh down a basket).

She asked if I took the day off. I said "No...actually I'm on maternity leave." She eyed my stomach and didn't say anything (I was expecting "where's the baby?" but maybe she thought I was still pregnant? Hopefully not. Anyway.) Somehow we got to the "Do you work for yourself" question. I don't know how it got so personal, it was not a long line and she hemmed and hawed getting to that point. Then came the inevitable "Would you like to?"

We know where this is going, right? Be your own boss, sell (insert product here). Except with those things, you're not your own boss. She passed me her Avon card. But here is the thing--she took a day off. From some kind of job that pays the bills and I am willing to bet it wasn't Avon. Unless you are at the corporate level, harassing people in line at the discount grocery store and going door to door pimping skin so soft is probably not going to pay your mortgage, and even if it does, you're still working for someone else. You're not really the captain of your ship.

If you know me at all, you know I didn't say any of this. I just told her to enjoy the beautiful day.

Night at the Fair

How do you know when you're getting old? When rides feel more like you're cheating some kind of "final destination" type death and less like fun. Yes, we went to the county fair. After perusing the livestock, and consuming ice cream we took our daughter on some of the rides. I tried not to eyeball the distance I was above the ground or think about what might happen if the ride dumped me onto said ground, and whether or not I would survive such a fall. I tried not to think about how often these rides undergo safety inspections. Really, I tried.

Then there is the fair food. I tried not to think about how sanitary some of the food booths were or the cow manure smell that kept wafting around while I attempted to enjoy a root beer float. For the main course, I kept it to a burger, a small Sprite (sans ice) and a few fries. Like I said, old.

Where the earth moves

Yesterday we had an earthquake. I thought it was a gust of wind, but then the house kept shaking. And kept shaking. Aaaand kept shaking. It reminded me of the '89 earthquake (yes, I am taking it back to the 9th grade).

I have felt four earthquakes in my life--2 in California and 2 here. Oddly enough there was one last year and the epicenter was a couple of miles from my house.

Even odder, for all of these quakes, I was in the master bedroom. There is a joke in there somewhere, but I am too slow/lazy/tired to make it.

Turn my headphones down (the unfriending of D.J. Fisticuffs)

I know I have talked about self-promotion before. I don't know why or how things have come to this--if you have completed something you then need to pimp it. The problem with this is the attention goes to the loudest people, not necessarily the best. And there is no way to know if it's good. You can't rely on a critic with similar taste. Instead, what you have is the person who created the work yelling and hollering at you that it's good, or at the very least, informing you that their product (music, books, lecture series, and so on) is coming out so you'd better get in on it.

I just unfriended someone for this. Honestly, I don't remember the guy, but I think we went to college together. Lately he has been talking about his music. It's on iTunes, It's this, its that. On his wall he is soliciting:

FaceBook Homies...I need help! Who is dope at graphic design! And I mean dope...like you know that shit like the back of your hand????
HIT ME ASAP PLEASE!

(As an aside...Homies? Dope? People still talk like this?)

The only reason this irks me is because I had a baby last week and among the congratulatory messages on my wall was one from this guy in an effort to make me aware that his music is out. If it has any of the language of that wall post requesting graphic artists, I probably won't be listening. It's back to the Wiggles and ABC's for a few years for me. But also, I just had a baby, idjit. Don't post that crap on my wall and then continue to post the same garbage on everyone else's wall, especially when it appears your friend request was just a way to garner a captive audience to your crap.

And also, when people pimp themselves like this, I tend to think the product is probably, well, not good. Post a sample or something. Let us take a listen before telling us to hurry to iTunes for a purchase (yes, I know you can sample on iTunes, but i don't even want to make that much of an effort). It's much easier to click "unfriend" and move on with my life.