"Big News!"

Yes, those were the words that started off the second half hour of the local morning news. “Big News,” a grinning Barbara Harrison declared, “Ashlee* Simpson is tying the knot!”

Now my question is: who in the world thought this was relevant enough to be a) on the local NBC affiliate NEWS program and b) at 6:30 a.m.? What, now I can start my day with a smile and feel that all is right with the world because I know Ashlee Simpson is having a shotgun wedding? Yippee! Hallelujah!

Right.

I am sad that we have sunk so low. I could see if there was a lull in the world—not much going on, nothing to see, or do, or talk about, but there is a war (two if you want to split the “Global War on Terra” into different locations) going on. There’s a recession. There’s an upcoming election. All stuff that is kinda sorta a bigger deal and infinitely more newsworthy than Ashlee Simpson. I get escapism but that is why you have Access Hollywood, People Magazine and the internets. Leave my morning traffic/weather/local crime report alone.

*You can't imagine how it pains me to type "Ashlee" instead of the proper spelling.